Why is that?

I thought it had been like a month since I've read, so I'm relieved to see it's "only" been 2 weeks.  And we are still in the same month!  So, that's good.

I have just sucked!

I think I must hate it! 

Which is not true!  I've loved the results of scripture reading.  When I read, I feel so good about myself.  As I ponder and think about what I am reading, I feel the Spirit and it effects me all day long.  I am sure of this and I've seen this. I have experienced it over and over again in these last few months.   So, do I like to read?  NO! 

The first week of sinfulness, I would think about scriptures as I was crawling into bed and think "Not tonight.  I deserve to read a novel and relax."  And it was AMAZING how quickly I forgot all about scriptures.  Many days I didn't even think about it at all.  After all those days (months, even!) of working on establishing it as a habit and Poof!  I could forget all about it just like that.

I can't remember the details now, but at church yesterday, someone said something about how you have to keep working at things.  And I thought, "O.K., I'll start reading again."  So, I read yesterday and then rewarded myself with a nap.  : )   And, no, I didn't fall asleep while reading.  A real life read, and then a nap!

Love means forgiveness

So, I went to a funeral last month of a father who had died long after his children were grown to adulthood. Relationships with dad hadn't always been great, but things had improved quite a bit in the few years before his death. Alma 45:41--those who dies in Christ will be happy.

One of the kids was talking about growing up with Dad and said,

"There were good times and bad times. 

The good times made us laugh and the bad times made us strong."  

That stayed with me.  When you are a kid, things seem to be more black and white, good or bad.  But, as you age and mature, you are able to see all the shades in between.  You might love people that aren't always nice or good, and yet you love them despite of their faults.  That is the forever loves that lets us keep loving spouses that hurts our feelings or children that disappoint us.

"Jeremiah 31:3  The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, I have loved thee with an everlasting love."

As mere humans, we don't always have that ever lasting love that God has towards us.  When enough hurt, anger, or fear pile up, we sometimes choose to stop loving someone.   I've read so much about God's never ending love for us, his constant mercy towards us, his ability to forgive and forget over and over.  I haven't developed all of those traits perfectly.

I thought putting this quote from the funeral into practice would go a long ways in helping us keep our family together with a forever love.  Instead of letting the bad times break us, we can choose to see that they made us strong.  Made us survivors.

As a novice to the whole scripture STUDY idea, I keep getting amazed at how they really do talk about everything you might have a question about.

I think Matthew 15:5 is talking about kids acting like they are the gift to the world.  (Correct me if you disagree with what that verse is saying).  That is what I thought about when I read that.  How kids will act like we, as parents are so lucky to have them in our lives.  Naturally we are, but we owe that gratitude to God, not really to the kids.  They really didn't have a whole lot to do with it!

The funny thing is, is it's us, as the parents that give kids this sense of entitlement.  Cause we are always saying How lucky we are to have them and how much they've blessed our lives  and how sad we would be without them, etc. etc.  Of course, all these things are good and it gives our kids a nice sense of security and love and all that stuff.  But, it can also go so far the other way that they turn into this whole "My mommy will do this for me because she loves me," and don't really give full appreciation to the sacrifice parents are making for their children. (So, like what, parents who don't bow to their child's every wish don't love their children?)

Do you get what I am talking about?

After verse 5, Matthew goes on talking about honoring our parents and not being hypocrites and saying something that our heart doesn't feel.   We have to be careful not to raise children that are so self centered and really do think it IS all about them and that the rest of us exist to serve them.

Did you think that after reading Matthew 15:5?

Any ideas?

Anyone know what Matthew 23:18 means?  How you can swear over the alter, but not over the gifts on the alter.  What is that about?

Apparently, talk is not cheap

So, we are going to my parents for Family Home Evening.  A few months ago, something was said somewhere by someone that prompted me to think that it would be a good idea to have FHE with my parents sometimes.  It could be a good experience for them, my kids, and everyone.  Since my dad has a hard time moving around, I suggested we come to their house each time.  They can do the lesson and I'll bring refreshments.  That allows  my parents to give us "gentle correction" on whatever subject they think we need and also ensures that we actually have a yummy dessert at least once a month.  (I keep a bag of candy bars as my fall back dessert for FHE and use it frequently.)

We've only done it once so far, but it was great! My mom told a family story from her side of the family and we all enjoyed the 1.5 hours we spent together visiting, etc.  Unfortunately, this time, my mom asked if she could make the dessert and we do the lesson.  She has a recipe she really wants to try.    Naturally, I had to say yes.  Even though I have loved the idea of just showing up without having to do a lesson.  (Lazy in all kind of areas, I know.)

So, I pull out some notes from a General Conference discussion we had in church a couple of weeks ago.  By the title of President Monson's talk "The Divine Gift of Gratitude" I had written "unlocks the door to heaven." I had also written "Loaves and fishes---give thanks and then miracles occur.  Thank you helps others feel love."

Over the years, I have been very surprised to learn that apparently, my love language is words of affirmation.  That seems so silly to me!  After all, talk is cheap!   Aren't I smart enough not to get taken in by the silver tongue?  Well, hopefully, I can discern between sincerity and mere flattery, but I don't know.  Even when I know they are lying, I still like it.  : )  

I actually share a scripture with God.  D&C 59:21 (umm, I added my own name myself)   "And in nothing doth man offend Beth save those who confess not her hand in all things."  If you think of Offending in the way that we use it now a days---like hurting someone's feelings--then that is so true for me.

Relationships with my family have actually suffered when I don't feel appreciated.  The reverse is true also.  My heart melts when I am thanked or praised.  "You make the best sandwiches."  "You are the best mom ever."  "I am so lucky I married you."  Well, I haven't heard the last one yet, but I know it is true!  : )
In fact, I tell him so regularly!  As in, "You are SO LUCKY to have married me!"  (teehehehehe!)

Lest I regress, back to the subject at hand---Gratitude.

So, I am using the story of the loaves and the fishes from Matthew 15:32-38 and pointing out Jesus gave thanks first and THEN the miracle occurred.  I have done up a little chart for each of them with clip art pictures, so each night at dinner we can go around and say (and write) something we are extra grateful for that day.  No using the same thing twice.  

After the Lesson---
The lesson went fine.  I scanned two of the lists so you can see what I'm talking about.  It will be their job to come up with one thing per day to write one there for the rest of the month. I covered up their names for privacy.  : )

 

Do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive?  Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings,  but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love.   Thomas S. Monson Oct. 2010

B+

I've read 13 out of the last 15 days.  That's an 87% success rate.  Considering I'm coming from a 0% on this  (I think that is even lower than an F-, yeah?) that is pretty darn amazing.  : )   Maybe I can keep that stat for the rest of the year.....

That would be totally cool.

A feel good

So, I just read a comment that someone else is "trying to follow my example" and read their scriptures more.  That's totally cool, yeah?

I have to say though, this getting into the habit of things really sucks sometimes.  I hate it when I get into bed and then remember I haven't read yet.  Then I have to decide--should I read or just skip it?  I try to at least do a 10 second read (I think I wrote about that earlier) but sometimes I just try to skip the whole thing.

It's the  whole "It's the end of the day and I deserve to read a novel" mentality.

I just read now while I am over at a friends holding babies.  Technically it is Thursday, but I am counting it for Wednesday cause I obviously didn't read on Wednesday.   At about 9:30 p.m. on Wednesday, I learned I was coming over here at midnight to hold babies so I went to lay down and take a "little nap".  And as I'm getting into bed, I remember my scriptures.  And, I'm like NO WAY!  I want to sleep.  So, after my little nap, I come over here.  So, I'm still considering it wednesday.   After I go home and go to bed, I'll have to read when I wake up to get credit for Thursday.  Aughh!  How many days have I vowed to read "first thing" and then end up doing the should I or shouldn't I quandary at bedtime?

To REALLY trust in the Lord

I've been thinking (and learning) a lot about trusting in the Lord lately.    I think I have greatly underestimated it.  We talk about "trusting in the Lord" all the time.  It is easy to say or consider when things are going good.  Sometimes I think we believe that if we do trust in the Lord that things are going to get better soon.  When they don't, then we start doubting.   But, there are some Great Scriptures about trusting.  Here are some I've seen lately that I really like.

Read this one from Isaiah slowly and picture it in your mind:  

Hearken unto me, which are borne by me from the belly and are carried from the womb...I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry and will deliver you.

Even when things are bad,  He is still carrying you!  The next one I put my name in--ignore that part and use your own name.  It makes it cooler.

Yet now hear, O Beth, my servant; whom I have chosen:  Thus saith the Lord that made thee and formed thee from the womb, which will help thee: 

Fear not, Beth...for I will pour water upon her that is thristy, and floods upon the dry ground:  I will pour my spirit upon they seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring:  And they shall spring up as among the grass, as willows by the water.  

I don't know when I read this first, but I came across it again tonight.  In the margin I have written "He will pour out His Spirit on our family like water on dry ground."  Think of the visual-----imagine His spirit pouring down on Shelbie and your family.  As you said once---you see it happening in other families and wonder why can't it be your family?  Why can't it?  It can be.  Trust in the Lord! 

At church yesterday, our Bishop said that if we are doing what is right and still aren't feeling "the power" then we just need to rely on Heavenly Father and trust in Him to send the power. Be still and wait on the Lord.    He quoted how Alma and his people had their burdens made light.    So I looked it up---

And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea the Lord did strengthen them that could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.    And it came to pass that so GREAT WAS THEIR FAITH and their PATIENCE that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying:  Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage.

So, while I was looking for this scripture that my Bishop had mentioned, I accidentally found this one. the one above is about Alma, but it is IN Mosiah.  Sneaky.  But this one, IN Alma,   I thought  is really good too and brings it all full circl---

Alma 33:23--And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son.

See how it all comes back to our relationship to God?!  It is by leaning on him, accepting His son's Atonement, following His commandments, etc. etc. that we are strengthened and given joy.    If we aren't feeling His Spirit everyday, we need to examine our lives and see if something is amiss (either sins needing repentance or sins of something we aren't doing that we should).  If everything is good in our life, then we just need to hang in there.  It will come.  

Isaiah 55:10 & 11

If you are ever feeling overwhelmed by your calling or inadequate in preparing a talk or what to say to a wayward child, read Isaiah 55: 10-11.

Just like the rain that hits the earth is not wasted, when you are on the Lord's errand and letting His spirit guide you, your words will benefit their intended person.

enlightened moment

You know the scripture in D&C 88...
Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.  That your incomings may be in the name of the Lord; that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord....

I've always just thought about this scripture as direction for how our homes are suppose to be.  In fact, I've written on the margin that Mike's bishop used this scripture to council with us before we got married.  Bishop Rose said we should set goals and have a clean and organized house from the beginning.  (I think I have kind of fallen apart on this in the last few years....time to recommit, I guess.)

Today in sacrament, the speaker used this scripture and was talking about our bodies.  He was talking about preparing yourself to go to the temple and stuff, then all of a sudden, I tune in and catch that.  It was like one of those lightbulb moments where you go, "Wait, what was that?!" And, then your mind starts racing thinking about what all those things would mean.

So, re-read it while thinking of your body being a temple and how we are suppose to be taking care of it, etc.

Ohhhhhh!  That is a whole different way of looking at it, yeah?

Taking Vicky's advice

So, I'm taking Vicky's advice and going to talk about how good I'm doing (thereby ignoring all that talk in the last post about being humble and  blah, blah, blah).  So, IF I read tonight and then I  will have read every day this week EXCEPT for Sunday and Thursday.  I'm giving myself a break for Thursday cause we went to the temple that night.  Of course, I did sleep MAJORLY through the middle part so I definitely should have read that night to make up for my sin.  But, it was my own family member name I was trying to do, so we we have our family reunion in heaven, I can fill her in on what she missed.  : )  Roberta Riley was her name.

So, I have to make sure to read tonight so I can be so awesome.

Ooops! Gotta repent already!

So, my very last post is about how much I feel like my testimony has grown, etc.  My next reading takes me to D&C 84:73 about how we aren't suppose to boast about gifts that you have.  I follow the footnotes on that--

"Neither boast of faith nor of might works"  (D&C105:24)  I didn't mean to be boasting, but I was feeling pretty mighty : ) so I suppose that was naughty.


Where is boasting then?  It is excluded.  By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith. (Romans 3:27)
So, if I was faithful and really showing faith in God, I wouldn't boast.  Hmmm...is it a double sin if you boast about your increased faith in God?!  Double oops for me.

Put away from thee a froward mouth (Proverbs 4:24)    
At first I had thought it had said "forward mouth" which I understood to be "fresh or more of a "in your face" type thing.  (Yes, this does sound like me, unfortunately.)  Then I noticed that is not even what it says.  It said to put away thy froward mouth.  So, then I look up Froward mouth.   Froward is worse then forward!

"A froward mouth is a mouth that is not easily controlled. It's a mouth that speaks whatever it wants, whenever it wants..."  


OH NO!  I got this from a Christian ministry web site and it sounds JUST LIKE ME!  I could be totally attributed to a Froward mouth.


Dictionary.com has the following for froward:  willfully contrary; not easily managed:
—Synonyms 
obstinate, willful, disobedient, fractious, wayward, unmanageable,difficult.


In my heart, I  wasn't boasting with my previous post.  I was just "happy sharing".  So, I could justify those guilty feelings away.   But with this whole Froward mouth scripture, I am still totally pierced right thru the heart!!   If I ever decided to write my own Bible, I would have to put a picture of myself down in the footnotes after froward mouth.


And if you follow the footnotes from the Proverbs scripture you get to this one: 
Let the words of my mouth...be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord.  (Psalms 19:14)

Well, now that REALLY encompasses all kinds of problems I have.  I've even gone so far as to respond to my mother when she has chastised me for "trash talk" to say, "Yes, I know that isn't nice to say, but I have other sins I am working on now so I'm just going to keep talking trashy for now."  (See, that was very clever of me because she can't argue with that.  If she said I should be working on trash talk, that would indicate I should not worry about "my other sins" right then and that might be even worse!  So, she just gasped/grunted and held her peace.)

But, alas!  Now the Lord has called me to all kinds of repentence.  AND I've learned a new name to call myself.  Shakespeare has even written a big 'ol paragraph about a Froward wife and put it in the same sentence as peevish, sour and sullen (he was a woman hater, I think....At least, a wife hater for sure!).

Sigh.

Sunshine in my soul

So, I read The Hiding Place last week for a book club assignment.  I'd read it before, but it had been years.  I am so glad I read it again now.  I'm in a whole different place perspective wise!  Things jumped out at me that I may have forgotten from when I read it the first time, but I'm thinking it is just that I'm in a different place now and notice different things.

I marveled at their attitude and continuation to put their trust and faith in God.  Betsie was a near perfect person in attitude and deed anyway.  Corrie was a bit more "real" with nasty thoughts and anger sometimes.  She would self chastise herself though and found that when she asked God for help, she really was able to forgive or see things in a different light.   I was inspired at the amount of times God really did put miracles in their lives.  The whole story made me want to be a better person.

On Sunday, we sang "There is Sunshine in my Soul today" during our RS music time.  Our chorister read about the song's author and how she wanted to be able to share some of the joy she felt with having Jesus in her life.   She used such terms as "a carol to my king" and "sunshine" and "Springtime in my soul" etc. in an effort to convey that.

I feel like my testimony has grown so much since I've started trying to improve my scripture reading / studying.    I have definitely felt God's spirit in my heart more often.  I've felt things testified to me as I've been reading and so they have jumped out at me and strengthened me.  I've been able to use the things I've learned in my daily life.  I have felt more faith in God and truly more joy.   I am definitely a fan of Scripture studying--even though I still struggle with actually doing it.

At times, I've thought of the Christians you see sometimes that are so exuberant about God's love or being saved or whatever as taking it a bit "too far."  I mean, it IS good news and all, but there is a lot of work and sacrifice  that comes with it, too, you know?  I believe in Jesus and His atonement and I'm a happy person, in general, but I'm not feeling such overwhelming joy and happiness like they appear to be.

I have to say though, that lately I DO find myself feeling much more akin to the "Hallelujah, Praise the Lord  Christians" then I ever have before.  I feel even more gratitude then usual for all of HIS blessings.  I have thought and  wondered more about the Atonement then before.   I feel more of a need to put my faith in God.  Not just lip service, but actually action.  And, I feel more confidence that I CAN trust God in all things.  I think ALL of this stuff is because of scripture studying!!

When Hilary was talking about this Sunshine in my soul song on Sunday, I really related to what the songwriter was trying to say.  I DID feel that joy and happiness.  I think this really is from the scriptures.  I have got to keep up this habit!

What do you think about Sundays?

As of today, I have read 6 days in a row.  If you don't count Sunday.  I didn't read Sunday.  If I had, that would have been 7 days in a row.   So, if we have to be a big stickler then I am only on a 2 day stretch right now---yesterday and today.

I intend to read on Sunday, but I justify not reading easily because I DO read the scriptures a lot on Sundays.

I read them in Sunday School, I take notes on them, I check cross references, I make comments about them to the class. So, I do get scripture reading in....just not personal and private.

As far as my "record" goes though, I have just glossed over Sunday and pretended it wasn't there.  My all time record for reading every day without missing is 7 days.  That included a Sunday.  BUT, it was a Sunday I didn't go to church so it was like the "only religion" I got that day.  So, that probably made it easier to read.

 I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.  As far as I'm concerned, I'm on a 6 day streak.   I think I deserve it because I didn't read yesterday until I was in bed last  night.  That is my worst time of all to read!  I didn't want to.  I knew I was too tired to try to read scriptures AND something fun (my normal "treat" for when I go to bed).   I brought my notebook and scriptures to bed with me though and did go ahead an read.  (Thereby forfeiting my opportunity to read something fun because I was too tired.)  Not even a 10 seconder, but a real life read.  Amazing.

Tomorrow will be 7.

Isaiah 40

I have to say that I am kind of rocking on Isaiah.    I'm starting to think maybe he is not an unsolvable puzzle.  Maybe Nephi wasn't so crazy to put so much of him in the BoM.  Mormon must have understood him too since he edited a bunch of stuff and still put him in also.

If you read like a whole chapter at a time, you're usually like "What the heck is he talking about?"  But, if you just try to read like a few verses, they can totally make sense.  And they are beautiful.  And powerful.  And uplifting.

Like starting with verse 28 in Isaiah 40.  He's like Don't you know that God doesn't get tired?  Haven't you heard that he doesn't wuss out?

"He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might, he increaseth strength.
They that wait and hope for  the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
                       (v29-31 with the italics my own addition based on the footnotes).

I'm rolling now

Four days in a row!
Yow-za!
I'm rolling now!
I've done so bad for so long, that I got pumped up when I logged into my Google calendar to put on another "Yes!" and saw that it puts me up to 4 days consecutively.  I haven't done that for like a month.

I've really felt strengthened lately by my scripture reading, so maybe I'll be able to do better.   I'm also trying a "new schedule" this upcoming week in an effort to focus on the essentials more and use my time to do the things I actually want to do instead of so much of the things I just find myself doing.  Naturally, scripture reading falls into the essential category so I will hopefully do good.

Patience with others

You already know about the concept I'm going to write about, but it stood out to me today.  Now that I am on the road to "Spiritual Giantness", I'm amazed at all of the different things that really are addressed in the scriptures.  Those scripture loving "I go to the scriptures with all my problems" type people really might be on to something.  : )  Who would have thought?!

Starting in about verse 7, D&C 46 talks about gifts.  It starts out talking about how if we will seek after the best gifts from HF then we won't be deceived by evil.  Then it verse 10 it says we need to remember what the gifts of God are because people don't have the same gifts as each other.

From the gifts listed there, I started thinking about other gifts that people have.  Usually, we consider people that don't have the same gifts as us "irritating" or "frustrating."  You like things scheduled and they are a "go with the flow / what is a watch for?" type person.  You like to continue learning and they are pretty content to stay where they are and keep doing the same things they've always done.  And so on and so on.

Sometimes though, these frustrating traits of others is actually a good thing to have right then.  Verse 12 says different gifts aren't given to different people to drive us crazy, but so we can all benefit from them.  In example one, these people can teach you to relax and slow down so you are able to "Be still and know that I am God."  In #2, these people can teach you a lot about contentment and knowing when enough is enough.  Since some people have the gift of knowledge so they can teach others (v 18), who would they teach if everyone already knew everything?    The HARD PART, of course, is remembering these things so you don't get so irritated by their not doing "things right."

But, that is why God tells us to remember what His gifts are--so we can look at their differences in His light and appreciate them instead of wanting to change them.  Of course, people that can easily do that (not me) have a gift just in that.  I think it's awesome, but I definitely don't have it yet.

So, later it says that some people are able to have ALL of the gifts so they can lead others and be able to understand and work with everyone to others benefit.  Even though some of the gifts seem to contradict each other (faith TO heal vs. faith to BE healed), if you have them all, you would also have the gift of wisdom (which of course, if different then knowledge) and you would know when to use which gift.  That's pretty cool.  So, if you want them all (and haven't us women all been raised with that idea of "WE CAN HAVE IT ALL!"?) then you need to ask for the gift you want and see if it is God's will.

I know I need to work on seeing others in this light.  Some people already naturally look at others and appreciate everything they do that is different.  Some of us naturally want to go in and change them.  You've heard me jokingly say things like "When I rule the world...." or  "Well, if everyone would listen to me...."
but that is because I am not God like and obviously don't have all of the best gifts.   Because if I did, I would be saying things like.....

Hmmm, what would I be saying?  Such a hard concept to consider : )

How about saying things like "Isn't it wonderful to have such variety in our lives?" or "I just love it when people do the opposite of what I think should be done!  It gives me the opportunity to grow and learn SO much."  

O.K., really, I don't think I could EVER say something like quote #2 there.  At least not without a heavy dose of sarcasm.  I don't think sarcasm is listed as a gift.  But, if I ever get to the point of seeing only the good in others,  I suppose I'll be wise enough to be able to come up with my own, sincere comments and be able to say them without sounding even a little bit like a liar.  : )

 "Seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given."  v 8

Are we missing stuff?

So, I'm reading D&C 17 (cause I found my notebook : ) and it's got me really thinking....

It's to the men that would be the 3 witnesses to the BoM.  Read it while you're thinking about faith (it's only 9 verses) and then tell me what you think.  These are some of the things I noticed:  

v.2  It is by your faith that you'll get to see the plates.
v.3 AFTER you've obtained faith is when you'll see them with your own eyes.
v. 5 JS has seen them thru God's power because he had faith.

Then, I started wondering:
If they did NOT have faith and looked at the plates, would they not be able to see them?  (like magic)
Or does HF just mean that having faith is what makes them worthy to be in the same room where the plates are and so that is why they'll get to see them.

See, if it's question #1 that He means, then that leaves me to the idea that if we had more faith, we'd see things  too, that we now totally miss.  Would we be able to see Spirits?  We know it is by faith that Brother of Jared saw the hand of the Lord.  And then His entire self.     Is it just our lack of faith that keeps the veil over our eyes?  Or would that be there either way?  People talk about the veil "getting thin."  Is it because their faith has increased so much?

Even if we never did see the Spirit of a loved one gone or something, is there just more about us every day that we are missing?

How's this for stalling?

I can't read today because I can't find my little "Scripture Reading Notebook."  I'm hoping Dillon knows where it is. He was asking me what it was on Sunday when it was doing a nice job of laying on the sofa in plain sight.  We've done a lot of house cleaning since then (15th Birthday party tonight) so I'm  thinking someone has moved it to one of the million piles they've created for me in my "Scrapbook room / Office / I don't know where this goes, so I'll put it in Mom's Scrapbook room".

I've been taking notes as I read and I don't want to have to rewrite them if I keep reading about gifts, since that's how I track where I am, etc.  I suppose I could just read something else that I'm not tracking so carefully, so I think I'll hold up for the D to wake up and see if he knows where it is first.

Amazing Results

One of the best thing of writing a blog without many people reading it is you can say lots of things that you normally wouldn't because you'd be worried it would sound like you were bragging.  I do want to record this though because I think it is amazingly awesome.

So, my niece is 8 months pregnant and I get an email from her mom on Monday saying to pray for her because she and her husband might have opposing antibodies in their blood which would mean their baby could be in a wheelchair their whole life and such.  So stressful!  First of all, why wasn't this discovered earlier?!  She is due in less then a month.  Second of all, it's just stressful anyways.  I had just been to her house 2 days before for a baby shower where she got the cutest little things you ever seen.  To go from such cuteness, excitement,  and happiness to tummy aches, chest tightness,  and all encompassing thoughts swirling in my brain was just too much.  And, I'm not even the parents!

So, I did some research online and it was even worse.  A wheelchair would be a good prognosis--they could be looking at severe respiratory problems and probably early death because the child's muscles won't be strong enough to get her breathing well.

So, I'm learning all this stuff from the Grandmother---my sister.  I wanted to give a few words of hope to my niece---the mother of this baby (and her poor, sweet, innocent husband who I am sure was just as blindsided by this whole thing.)   But, it is like, what do you say?

Then I remembered a couple scriptures  I had read awhile ago and I remembered a story we talked about in Sunday School, too.  So, I came into my little scripture reading notebook and found my notes on them and send a little message up to my niece based on the following scriptures.
Isaiah 41:1
 2 Chronicles 20:15-17

She sends me back a message saying she appreciated it and she felt at peace that the Lord wouldn't give her more then she could handle, etc.  So, I was happy that she was feeling peaceful and glad my message was received in the way I meant it---to be helpful and encouraging and such.

That was all Monday.

Tonight, I am talking to my sister (so my neice's mom) and she thanked me for "whatever I sent up " to her daughter and said after she read it, she had come into where her mom was and said stuff about "Aunt Beth being so wise" (I only giggled a little at that one) and how after she had read what I had wrote, she really felt "at peace" and that things would work out o.k.

I did that!

Yes, this is the amazing results I am talking about!  I've been working on this scripture reading thing for less then 3 months and I have totally sucked at it for weeks at a time sometimes, but I was STILL able to actually help someone as a direct result of my efforts.  However piss-poor they have been at times.  Cause I can guarantee you that if I hadn't been doing this reading, I would have never thought about these scriptures.  Probably not even any scriptures at all.  And instead, I even had some idea of where to find them.

That is why God is so amazing.  He is so NICE!  He doesn't make you wait until you are really good at something to bless you---He is always being merciful and sending little tender mercies our way.  He sees our little efforts and blesses us for trying.  That is amazing.

O.K., and as a P.S., because I know you really want to know, but this isn't even the climax of the story, because regardless of the turn out, I had brought peace to someone because I had done a little bit of studying on my own. That's the climax!

The postscript is that niece went and did more blood tests and goes back in to the doctor for the results and such.  He insists she is FINE.  This little issue they found is nothing like nemaline myopathy and he doesn't know why she was even told that.  Her baby might be more susceptible to jaundice and anemia when born but they can totally handle that and he says my niece has absolutely nothing to worry about.     So, a miracle on top of all the other stuff even.

Now, isn't that a happy tale?  Yae!

Recalculating

We had a lady come to our Relief Society meeting the other night from the 12 step addiction recovery program of the church.  Our Bishop had told me that all of the steps are basically just using Christ's atonement in our lives every day so we thought the principles and ideas could be put to use for all people in all kinds of situations they are trying to improve on.  Besides substance or pornography addictions, there are patience, weight loss, financial prudence, anger management, negative self talk, etc.

The one thing that has stuck with me the most is her story about using a GPS in Italy.  Because of the GPS, she was able to find her way to lots of different places and see lots of things that she wouldn't have been able to find on her own.  Whenever she didn't follow the directions of the GPS exactly, it would say "Recalculating" and then come up with new directions from where she was right then so she could still get to the place she wanted to get to even though she hadn't followed the original directions.  

Sister Belnap said Heavenly Father is like a GPS.  When we let go of the Iron rod or make a wrong turn in our life, He doesn't yell "You're an IDIOT!" or "You're never going to get there, now!" or "You're on your own now, stupid!".  (That last one is probably something I would say...."Hasta la vida, baby!" and then delete their prayer line or something.)   Heavenly Father doesn't yell at us.  He just recalculates and tries to help us from where we are now.  It obviously takes a lot longer to take all these detours in life.  Sometimes you can make a U-turn right then.  Sometimes you end up having to go through scary neighborhoods or lots of windy roads in order to get back to the right road again.  No matter how long it takes though, Heavenly Father is still willing to guide you back to the right path.

Sister Belnap said sometimes you might have to recommit yourself over and over in the same day.  But, if you keep trying and keep trying to get better, He will keep recalculating and still guide you safely back.

Sigh.

I love that visual.

And so, I am letting Heavenly Father RECALCULATE for me and I'm back to trying to read and study my scriptures daily.  I have thrown scripture reading in a few times since the last time I posted (mostly the 10 second rule) but mostly I haven't read at all.  For sure, not at all in the past week.  I must have even pulled over for a milkshake or something and got lost in the city clamor of where I was because there was several days in a row when I didn't even think about scripture reading.  If it entered my mind before bed, it wasn't even hard to brush that errant thought aside.  "Yes, Yes, I'll put that on my To-Do list for tomorrow."

D&C 3:10  But remember, God is merciful; therefore repent of that which thou has done which is contrary to the commandment which I gave you, and thou art still chosen and art again called to do the work.

I've gotten in the car again and am heading back toward the road of Spiritual Giantness.  I think I just heard a voice say  "Recalculating".

Peace in Isaiah

Isaiah.  Who know what he is talking about?

Why were these 80 pages included in the Bible?  Reading the selected chapters of Isaiah in the Book of Mormon seem to go on FOREVER!  (How many people have never gotten thru them so they didn't even finish the whole BofM?)  And yet, they apparently are important enough that God wanted them recorded (painfully so as writing was not easy in those days) in at least two places.

A long time ago, there was a family in my parent's ward whose son was killed while on a church mission.  Naturally, everyone was shocked and devastated, etc.  It was particularly hard on the parents.    Here was their son doing exactly what he was suppose to be doing and yet the Lord still allowed him to be killed.  He was already sorely missed and now he was never coming back to their home.

After a few years, the mom said that she had gotten through this hard period of her life by turning to the scriptures.  She especially found peace in Isaiah.  Ever since I've heard that, I've wondered what kind of secrets Isaiah is hiding from me?

1 chapter of Isaiah

I understood something in Isaiah!  Almost the whole first chapter!  I actually got a lesson out of it!   

Truly, wow! 

That's the good news.  The bad news is that it really doesn't matter how much you sacrifice and give to God.  If you aren't giving him what He wants, it does you no good.  He's tired of being offered burnt offerings or celebrations in his honor (Christmas, even??!).  He wants us be clean, stop doing bad things and start doing good things.  Relieve the oppressed, plead for the widow, be obedient and willing. 

Read Isaiah, Chapter 1.  What else do you get out of it?

A word or two on Ghost Hunting

You know how "they" say all of the answers in life can be found in the scriptures?  I'm always kind of a doubter because I think things like, "Well, what should I make for dinner then?" or some other smart alack remark.  Since I could turn to the Word of Wisdom to answer the dinner question and now have seen a scripture about Ghost Hunting, I am thinking maybe every answer in life CAN BE FOUND IN THE SCRIPTURES!  

I know, I know, you want to know about the Ghost hunting scripture right?  Well, I have been reading about gifts and came across Moroni 10:30 which said to Come unto Christ and lay hold of every good gift, but touch not the evil gift.  So I started following the footnotes for not touching the evil gift.

Nephi 18:17-19   And I will wait upon the Lord, that hideth his face from the house of Jacob, and I will look for him.  Behold, I and the children whom the Lord hath given me are for signs and wonders...from the Lord of Hosts.  And when they shall say unto you: Seek unto them that have familiar spirits, and unto wizards that peep and mutter---should not a people seek unto their God for the living to hear from the dead?"

And I read this and thought, "Wow, he is saying even if the Lord doesn't give you what you want right away, you should wait for him."   Wait, because you are seeking signs and wonders from the Lord.  So when people want to  talk to ghosts or call up spirits or whatever, you need to not go along with that, but wait for the Lord.

The footnotes from Nephi take you to Leviticus and First Samuel.
" And the soul that turneth after such familiar spirits and wizards...I will set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people."
And if you follow the 1 Samuel footnote to learn more about "familiar spirits" you come to the story where Saul didn't get an answer from the Lord and so he sought out a "familiar spirit" and the footnote for that says "superstitious".

So, we are told very plainly to stay away from superstitions and trying to call up spirits....even those whom we love and miss so much.....like a spouse who has died.  If we want to hear from the dead again, we need to turn closer to the Lord and continue to seek from Him...even if he doesn't answer at first.

Who would have known? !

Maybe the scriptures really are the answer to everything!

After I've read them all and studied them all the time and such, I am REALLY going to know everything, instead of just thinking I do now.  : )

Better then I think...Not as good as I could

So, I am keeping track of how often I read with the little Google calendar on the side of the blog and I counted up for September....I am a Sister Beck prime example!

I'm doing "Better then you think you are"
After all, I have read more then 1/3 of the days of the month.  That is so much better then I was doing before I started this quest!  SO, SO, SO much better!

However, I'm not doing "as good as you could be" and I know that is SO true.  I could have definitely done better.  There were a couple times in the last week where I remembered I had not read as I was climbing into bed.  Did I choose to turn around and go get my scriptures?  Heck no!  I blatantly chose to get on into bed and ignore and promptings I felt to do otherwise.

But, I am back today.  At least, I'm trying to be back.

Since September 14, I've been reading about Gifts.  I looked it up in the Index and am reading every scripture listed.  I'm making a list of them in my little notebook.  We will be using them in the upcoming year in our Relief Society.  (I don't think anyone reads this from my ward, so I'm not giving them any secret info. : )

I think I have just a verse or two left in the BofM and then on to the Bible or Doctrine & Covenants.

Struggling

I think I've read two or three times since I've last posted, but it's not even today.  And it wasn't yesterday either or the day before that.  That is why I am posting....to kick my butt into reading again.  I can't read right now, but I will read again soon.  Who would have thought there'd be so many starts and stops in this quest?  Now we get full understanding on why I haven't been able to maintain a healthy habit of scripture reading.  I do HAVE to go now though.....more later.

Repentance again

It doesn't take much to slide.  I'd been doing so good and now I've doing so bad.  Well, WAS doing bad.  I went in to clean up the kitchen (I've been working on it on and off for most of the morning) and I reached over to turn on the radio.  That made me think of how I like quiet and that reminded me of scriptures which reminded me that I needed to read.  So, of course, I thought, "I'll do that next."  And then I thought "No, do it now while you are thinking of it.  Otherwise, it won't get done."  And I actually listened to the good voice!  : )

I turned off the radio (that had barely had time on to tune in) and almost ran out of the kitchen to get my scriptures.  So, after a 6 day descend into "the black pit of not doing what's right" (TB POND WR for all you short hand bloggers out there), I'm back!   (Hopefully, that doesn't make you think of that guy's scary face in the Shining, which was a movie I was too young to see.  The previews have haunted me my whole life.)

Now that I've read and am feeling that "scripture power" again, I realize how much I've missed it.  But, just this morning on the way to car pool I was thinking I needed to read as soon as I got back (you see how well that went....it's 1 p.m.) and thinking of how it had been almost a week since I read and I thought something to the effect of how nice it's been to not have to worry about it.  I've just been swamped and running around like a banshee and the only time I've even thought of scripture reading is right before sleep.  Even then, I didn't think of it every night, but on the nights I did think of it, it was pretty easy to ignore that thought and push the guilty thoughts away.  I've had a lot of practice at that over the years.  :  )  Oops, I don't suppose I should put in a smiley face over that comment.

Speaking of Repentance...

Speaking of Repentance, I've been called to it this weekend at our Stake Conference.   Our adult session was like a mini Education week!

So, I am pumped up (well, not currently, but I will read my notes from Saturday night and will get pumped up again before I post next time) to get back to daily study again.

Personal and Private

I was reminded of how true Repentance is in your heart....in your soul....and not a list of "to do" items that the public can see and determine that you are doing what's right.

 Joel 2:13 says "Rend your heart, and not your garments,  and turn unto the Lord your God."

Wouldn't tearing your clothes be accompanied by weeping and wailing and kind of a public display of grief, sorrow, or whatever?  It really matters what is in your heart.  When your heart is in the right place, then the good acts naturally follow.

It is so easy (for me, anyway) to get caught up in how things look to others or what I see others do and then base my judgement of whether they are a good person or not according to their acts.  Some people are just great actors though, and it is the private, personal moments that reveal what is in their heart.  What is true.

Therefore, for myself, I need to work on my own heart, and not so much what others see me doing.  Not seek after the praise of man.  Work to please God.....being pleased with myself (and others being pleased with me) will naturally follow.

Yeah?

Against all odds

A couple weeks ago we talked about against the odds in Sunday school...
Naturally, I can't remember what we were studying (2nd Chronicles 20, maybe??) but the message was that it doesn't matter the odds because when the Lord is on your side, you can win.  It was a lovely message, and maybe some of you true Spiritual Giants will know where it was in the Old Testament.

Anyways, I thought of it again as I was reading in Joel.

Joel 2:11 And the Lord shall utter his voice before his army: for his camp is very great: for he is strong that executeth his word.

v. 13  And rend your heart, and not your garments, and repent, and turn unto the Lord your God; for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness and he will turn away the evil from you.

The Lord's army is great and you need not fear when He is on your side.  If we repent, He will even evil away from us.  

Isn't that amazing? 

I have to say, I whine all the time about reading scriptures, but when I actually sit down and "do it right" (ie. studying, not just reading, etc.), I love the feeling I get.  I feel awesome!   Alight, Powerful, Capable, Happy.  All of that, just from reading God's word for 20 minutes!

My "natural man" is obviously very strong and buff if, even with all that, I still struggle to read.  It will probably take a long time for my "spiritual man" to get so strong.

6 days in a row!

And it is still hard!
So hard.
I've been up for 1-1/2 hours....I intended to read first thing, but just haven't gotten to it.
But, I am reading now...

Still at it!

I am on a 4 day streak!  Whew!

On Thursday morning,  I read Very, VERY first thing (like 6 a.m.) before I even got the kids up.  I always think I will fall back to sleep if I try to do that "in the middle of the night", but I think it was stinkin' awesome!  I really had the whole day ahead of me to celebrate then.  I'm shooting for that again this week. (But, not tomorrow, cause I'm sleeping in then).

: )
P.S.
I do hope someone else is considering making some posts about something they are working on.  It doesn't have to be all about me, you know.

Hosea is all about Ho's

You know I don't lie.  So, don't be thinking my title is a lie.
I j ust read the first three chapters of Hosea and if you are the kind of person that likes to quote scripture out of context to shock people that "it is in the Bible" then Hosea is your kind of place.

Nakedness, whoredoms, adulteress, lovers, stripping, etc.   I read Chapter 1, verse 2 three times.

Did the Lord really just tell someone to "take unto thee a wife of whoredoms" ?
(Uh, yes he did).

So, you have to read and look for symbolism.  Which I managed to do for some of it....

And I think it is easy to be the wife that chooses our lover because he gives "bread, water, wool, and flax, and oil."   And there later, we realize that our husband gave us "corn, wine, oil, and lots of silver and gold."  And we remember we like those things too, and we miss them.

Hopefully, we aren't choosing a lover over our spouses, but do we wish way our life now for what we think will be better later, only to realize what we had and want it back?  Live life and choose happiness everyday.

Better then...

What is better then crawling into bed, when you are so very tired and exhausted?  And almost crying with relief and happiness because it feels so good to just lay there knowing blissful sleep is just minutes away?

I'll tell you what is better then that---Being able to do it without THE NAGGING GUILT OF HOW YOU SHOULD READ YOUR SCRIPTURES cause you haven't read yet today!!!

Not even 9 a.m. and I have read!!! I am so glad!

Because naturally, the other scenerio has been mine for the past 2 nights.  I didn't realize how adept I was at ignoring guilt (promptings??)  until I've been working hard (?) at consistent scripture study and confessing my sins on this blog.

But today is a TRIUMPH, baby!

PHEW!!

So Deliriously Happy

The best thing I did today was read scriptures first thing this morning.  Finished up the book of Micah....Seriously, he deserves a worst wrap then Isaiah!  I had no idea what he said.  The summary at the beginning of the chapter has words in it that aren't even in the chapter at all.  So, it's like--"Where the heck did they get that from?"

Just so glad I don't have to read now (or feel guilty for not reading).  I'm in no shape for it.
Halla-freakin'-lulah!

The Importance of Being Early

I really need to do this IN THE MORNING!

I did on Thursday.
And , I did on Friday---even though I was going scrapbooking and had to get my stuff together, etc.  I was SO HAPPY last night after getting home late from the ward T night and remembering that I had ALREADY read scriptures.  It was awesome.

Today---no.  I did not read.   Guess what time it is?  3:30 A.M.
For those of you who thinks it is really Sunday, it's not.  It doesn't turn Sunday until I go to bed and then wake up.  So, technically, it is still Saturday.

Am I going to read for Saturday?

Unsure.
50-50 at this point.
And, even if I do, it won't be a great study.
Sympathy read only.

Learn the Old Testament Song

I know there is a song with the books of the Old Testament in it, but somehow I never learned that one.  My sister and I use to go to "Good News Club" after school, which was a Pentecostal (maybe?) based weekly Primary type thing that was held in my little town of 189 people....well I guess it was 196 since my family of 7 moved in.

Anyway,  one of our neighbors, Mrs. Connelly led it.  We would sing songs and she would tell a Bible story or two and I don't remember if their was anything else to it or now.  I still remember some of the songs though.
My favorite was "He could have called 10,000 angels".  I will have to search for the words and music sometime...maybe I could sing it in my church.  : )

That is really where I got the New Testament song down.  "Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts and the Epistle to the Romans...."
It was a different tune then the version they sing in our church's Primary now, but it has stuck with me forever.

Unfortuately, I never caught on to the Old Testament one.  It was embarrassing how long it took me to find Jonah this morning.  I didn't use the table of contents.  I figured it would be close to Job, which is what we studied last week in Sunday School.    Apparently, the Sunday School lessons aren't going in order of the books in the Bible.    Jonah is like 500 pages later.   Who knew?

in the multitude of Thy mercy

Psalms 5:7 "But as for me, I will come into thy house in the multitude of thy mercy"

I have to say, I was very discouraged last night.  I have had moments of "greatness" since I started this blog and scripture reading quest, but they seem so long ago now.  In the 10 days since I've been back from the Tetons,  I just haven't been able to get in the groove.  Most days, I haven't read.

When I thought of it last night (cause I had my blog open all day as a reminder to me), I just didn't care.  I just flat out didn't want to read scriptures.  It was almost 11, I was totally pooped and there were all these little things that I was suppose to do--scriptures, finish an online order, carry all the junk by the stairs down (cause no one else knows how to), etc.   I just wanted to go to bed.  I don't like reading scriptures.

So, I told myself that I will read in the morning (I think I've done that several times of late) and called it a night.  I overslept this morning (did I really hit the snooze button 5 times without remembering more then 1!??!). The kids had to come in and wake me up.  (Mike is OOT).  So we didn't get a good family scripture study, but I did read 3 verses to them (well--they were long verses!) before we walked out the door.  Hardly stellar.

As I'm driving down Canyon Road for my carpool kids, I think I pass a friend of mine jogging along Canyon Road.  I'm not even sure if it was her, but it reminded me of her, which reminded me of the time when I asked her about seeing her running while she looked in pain.  Mrs. Will of Steel (not her real name) didn't know which instance I was talking about, but shrugged it off with a matter of fact statement "You have good days and bad days..."

Somehow, that was a revelation to me.  I would think running fools like her would run because they love it.   I figured it was easy for them.  They've been doing it for years!  I'm sure if they usually run 10 miles and one day they decide to do the full marathon route 26+ miles, then the last little bit would be hard for them.  But, as long as they keep doing their usual 10 miles every day, then the 10 miles is easy.  Because they've paid the price, done the training, etc. to be able to check it off their To do list easy.  Why keep doing it if have to force yourself to take another step?

I equated that to my scripture study and how I've come to believe that those who read and study daily, do so because they love it and it is easy for them.  I've done the daily scripture study thing for blocks of time in the past, but I never got to the part where it was easy for me.  That has left me to think that I'm not good at it.  Now I'm thinking even Peter Priesthood and Molly Mormons have to "make" themselves read the scriptures on some days.  It is because they do that they keep their habit and become Molly Mormon.

So, I remembered all this today and that strengthened my resolve to come home from carpool and read scriptures first thing.  I had already planned on doing so, but I plan that lots of days and then allow myself to become distracted.  After seeing Mrs. Will of Steel this morning, I was resolved to make sure I did what I needed to.  Home--scriptures.  First thing.

And I did!
 

Relating to Scarlet

Tomorrow is another day.
Good night.

Penance

Yes, I have been bad.  I've been so into re-reading my Hunger Games series in preparation for the release of #3 book, that I've ignored my little guilt voice that says "you need to read your scriptures".

I have just got back from picking up my midnight copy though and now is the time I've decided to be tough with myself.  No starting the book until I at least do a little scripture study.   I have to re-commit and there is no time like the present.

This Promised Land

I bet you think I am not writing because I am not reading.  That is only partially true.  Mostly, I am not writing because I have been STINKING SWAMPED since I got back from our family reunion camping trip.  But, I did read 3 out of the 5 days I was gone!  One Saturday night I was almost in bed and realized the scriptures were in the van.  I so told myself to skip it and read the next day.  But, I did NOT!  I went back out---got my shoes back on, got the keys to the van, went back out in the cold, etc. to get my BoM so I could read.  I know.  I was awesome.  : ) 

And that is why I need to go ahead and post, so I can be motivated to be awesome again.   

        Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall prosper, and shall be led to a land of promise; yea, even a land which I have prepared for you; yea a land which is choice above all other lands...the Lord consecrate unto thee this land, which is a most precious land, for thy security foever, if it so be that ye shall keep the commandments..."   (1 Nephi 2:20 and 2 Nephi 3:2)  

I think Teton National Park is one of top 5 most beautiful places in the world.  When I am there, I can't help but think of these words.  As happenstance, While I was in the Tetons, I was reading Chapters 13 and 14 in 1 Nephi about how this great country we live in is choice above all other lands, and when we are righteous, God's power is with us...even against great odds.  

 And it came to pass that the angel said unto me: Look....And I looked and beheld the land of promise; and I beheld multitudes of people.  I beheld that the Gentiles who had gone forth out of captivity did humble themselves before the Lord and the power of the Lord was with them....The wrath of God was upon all those that were gathered together against them to battle and they were delivered by the power of God.  And the angel said to Nephi Thou has beheld that if the Gentiles repent it shall be well with them.    (1 Nephi 13:15 & 18 and 14:5)

Look at this picture---of course the people look beautiful (who doesn't when you are camping?!), but the scenery is what gets me.  Screaming blue lakes, jagged, pine covered mountains, crisp blue sky.  This area of Wyoming is why the state deserves to exist.  TNP is the bomb! 

Glad to be a loser

I SO should be in bed, but I feel bad about not having posted in the 48 hours I have been back in time.  I'm going crazy with so much to do!

So, I decided to post, but can't even find my scriptures or little notebook---I unpacked them somewhere.....

It was a relief to get on and see I had no new comments and no one is following.  Seriously.  That means no one is wondering about how I'm doing.

I do actually have a post about reading I did while in Teton National Park, but as I said,  I can't find it right now.
So, I am off to bed.  But, I will read a little first anyways
1. because I haven't read since Saturday
2. I'm so flippin stressed over all I have to do and should be doing and the kids start school tomorrow and I can't even get to the little short-non time consuming-items on my To do list, much less the big items, and I just got an email from someone really upset over some things and I've been meaning to email her for a month (literally) and maybe if I had, it would have helped to prevent her current upset-ness.  But, of course, I haven't  taken the time to compose my letter to her (cause it involves thoughtful contemplation and such), so all of that reminded me of how you put things off and then it gets worse, so I'm thinking I could use a little peace in my life.

Dorry knows all

So when I was a teenager and frequently argued with my mom, her "trump card" was "You'll never be truly happy unless you are living the gospel."  It was pulled out for everything---wanting to go to a rock concert, wanting a later curfew, or absolutely anything else that I was pushing her into a corner with my arguments.  Out would come the "I've lived both sides of life and you'll never be happy without the gospel" speech and the discussion was over.

Yes, it was irritating and yes,  I pass it on to my kids now.  : )

I was reading Nephi 11 about the interpretation of  Lehi's dream.  The fruit from the Tree of Life is the love of God.  This fruit is the most desirable above all things.  So, I'm reading along and that all makes sense to me.

I noticed verse 23 for the first time.  The fruit is also the thing that will bring us the most joy.  That's what makes us the happiest.

All this time I thought Dorry was just speaking from her own personal experience as a convert to the church in her 30's.    Who would have known Dorry was quoting scripture?  She must already be a spiritual giant!

A moment of Triumph

Honestly and truthfully, I read scriptures BOTH mornings in Wendover.  In fact, it was much easier there then it is at home. I literally could do it first thing in the morning---without even getting out of bed because I didn't have anything pressing.   I haven't read today  : (  and yesterday's was pitiful (in the waiting room of the doctor's office, but I still  get credit for accomplishing my goal!

The funny thing is, Mike gets pycho whenever it is "check out" day of any place we are.  When we are camping, he'd like to just roll up the sleeping bag with me in it if he didn't have to worry about me kicking his hynie when I got out.  There have been times when I've come back from brushing my teeth in the bathroom, and the sleeping bags and pillows are gone---they are put away already.  I'm like, "Dude, do we get to eat breakfast this morning (always cold cereal so  we don't spend too much time on it) or do we have to get in the car right now?"

Anyway, I giggled on Sunday morning because checkout was at 11:00.  I woke up about 9:30 and Psycho man has already showered, dressed, everything!  He is making no attempt to be quiet as he is unzipping his suitcase, shuffling things around, etc.   I grumble about the rudeness of it all, but he defends himself with "Checkout is at 11:00."

I  immediately reached over and grabbed my BoM and started reading.  After like 2 minutes, he's like "We need to get going" (in that calm little "What the heck are you doing in bed" tone).

 I say "I'm reading scriptures."

Silence.

I smile and say, "It must be hard to argue with that, huh, cause it sure did shut you up."  

Of course, we didn't actually leave the room until 11:02 a.m. so I was on his pooh-pooh list for checking out "late".   (Now you see calling him psycho man was not an exaggeration!)  I don't care.  Being a spiritual giant got me at least an extra 10 minutes of laying in bed.  Yae!

THE GOAL

I'm going on a 19 year anniversary Love Fest this weekend and to enjoy a blast from the past Pat Benetar concert. (I think I'm making a banner even!)  : )       (See how nice it is to write a blog and not tell anyone about it?  You can tell people you are going out of town and everything without worry about someone robbing your house.)

My goal---READ every day.  Every day.  Saturday AND Sunday.  I'm going to do the Book of Mormon cause I have a nice little travel size one.  And I'll take my little study notebook too so I can record any impressions I get.  So, I'm off to do a great job.  I'll be reporting my triumphant goal keeping on Monday.

So, for now, quit reading blogs and get to work on your own problems.  : )

The Power of Reasoning

I know, Not even 9:30 a.m. and I 'm posting.  I'm a new woman!  It only took me and hour and a half to do it "first thing" in the morning.  : )   O.K., well, I'm a NEW woman for today, anyways.

I was reading about the king of Assyria telling the Jews that their God isn't going to save them from his army because he had taken over lots and lots of other countries and the other people's god's didn't stop them.  His argument (2 CHR 32:10-19) was a great one, if you ask me, and it made perfect sense.  It definitely seems like his thinking was completely logical and making sense.

I guess things haven't changed much from 2500 years ago....  There will always be people dismissing God and encouraging you not to trust in Him.  It's important to remember Hezekiah's advice:
"Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed....for there be more with us that with him.  With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles."  (v.7-8)

payoff already

So, you know I've been reading a lot about temples and cleansing and all that this week (because even on Monday, when I didn't really read scriptures, I had still read the questions and summary in the Sunday School assignment book before I'd gotten interrupted so it really has been all week.)

Mike and I went to the temple tonight and I have to say that when they started talking about washings and being clean and such, I really perked up.  I had new thoughts that I'd never had before!  Always a good thing for me in the temple, as long as they are churchy and now worldly.  : )

My brain was thinking so hard, I stayed awake for the whole session and listened and felt like I started to learn a little more then I ever have learned before.   It wasn't like I was translated or anything, but I have to say it was a good session.  And I owe it ALL TO SCRIPTURE READING!

Who would have known I would have gotten a tangible blessing already.
(Good thing I repented from my bad attitude Saturday night!)
: )

Actually written July 31, but just found in my draft folder...

I know, I know...if I had read scriptures first thing this morning, I wouldn't now be thinking about how you shouldn't have to read scriptures on Saturday night.   I am also thinking I am not reading tomorrow because I read scriptures during Sunday school (unlike some people that I know whom shall remain nameless, but I will just call Stud Muffin who hardly ever go because they think Sunday School hour must be lesson prep for 3rd hour time.  IF I ever invite Stud Muffin to read my blog, perhaps they will want to do a weekly post on Sundays about whether they made the righteous decision and went to Sunday school that day.  Could make for interesting reading.  : )   So, I'm thinking maybe tomorrow can be a day of rest.  Trying to be a Spiritual Giant is tiring.

O.K., well it is 10:44, which is totally time to go snuggle in bed, but since I remembered to post, that reminded me to read, so I'm going to at least peruse the scripture readings for Sunday School tomorrow.

IMNSHO

In My Not So Humble Opinion (IMNSHO), I did really good last night.  One whole chapter!
In the Old Testament even!

Since I will miss Sunday school this week, I thought I should at least read the lesson assignment to think  a little about what I should be learning.  So, I read 2 Chronicles 29 last night.  Good for Hezekiah for turning away from wickedness and deciding to have the temple sanctified again for worship.  How about this part...."Be not now negligent: for the Lord hatch chosen you to stand before him, to serve him, that ye should minister unto him..."?  What an inspiring speech he gave to the temple workers!

When I read about the temple workers cleaning out the temple and dumping all the filth into the Brook Kidron, I was thinking here was an early example of environmental pollution. :  )  I didn't learn a lot about Kidron from the Bible dictionary and its scriptural references, but I got some ideas about it from googgling it.  The word means black and it was the creek that everyone in Jerusalem threw their sewer into.  An interesting thing to me is, this is the same brook Jesus crosses over (John) to go to the Garden of Gethsemanie, which of course, is where he suffered such pain and then was betrayed and arrested. (John 18:1)

So, today I was reading 2 Chronicles, Chapter 30 about how Hezekiah invites everyone to come to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover.  They haven't done it for a long time because of the idol worshiping, etc.  So, the Levites had cleaned the temple and they were doing all the actual work of animal sacrificing because the "regular people" hadn't had time to purify themselves.  We know how the Jewish people were about their rules about food and stuff.....So, since these people were unclean, they weren't suppose to eat at the passover either.  But, this whole temple and religion thing was new so they hadn't had time to be cleaned again.

Everything is cool though, cause Hezekiah prays for them saying "The good Lord pardon's everyone that prepareth his heart to seek God....though he be not cleansed according to the purification of the sanctuary."  Isn't that awesome.  And verse 20 says God listened to Hezekiah and healed the people.

I think that is a sweet story.  : )

Sympathy Pee

Back when we had a dog and I was a working woman, I always let her out to go potty right before I left for work. I wouldn't let her back in the house until I saw her go.  Sometimes, she just didn't want to be outside!  Especially in the rain or snow, she would head out, but then turn right back around and come to the door.  I'd point back out to the yard and sternly say, "Maggie, Go Potty!"  Sure enough, she would turn back around, get out to the grass, and do a quick little squat.  Then right back up on the deck to the back door she would come.  If you watched closely on that quick little squat, you could see that she didn't actually "produce."  I called it her "sympathy pee."    She went through the motion to make me happy.  I gave her credit for this little show of obedience and would let her back in.

I'm going for a sympathy read tonight.  It is 11, everyone is in bed (early up for Youth Conference tomorrow) and I want to be there too.  I was on my way and then I remembered my not-so-fun-anymore goal and bad-idea -to-share-it-with-the-world blog.  Oh yeah.  I've been sucking.  Sigh.    I feel bad about my scripture performance lately so I am recommitting myself to reading IN THE MORNING tomorrow.  MORNING!  Not 11 p.m. on Thursday night.  In the MORNING!

I also know it's bad to say "tomorrow" instead of today, so for Today, I am doing the sympathy read.  Not really "studying", just reading.  And a quick read, at that.  Hopefully, I'll get a little credit for my show of obedience.  : )

(Rrrrr......Ruff!  Ruff!  Good girl!)

Tired of being good

I was so jazzed up spiritually on Sunday that I thought I would come home and blog all about AND read my scriptures too.  (Total turn around from my attitude Saturday night, but it was the Lord's day, after all).  : )

Got home, broke my fast, chatted with Mike a bit, took a nap, prepared a great dinner (Mike thinks roast is the bomb, even though I personally think of it more as a "winter food"), etc. and basically forgot all about that I was going to read my scriptures.

Monday morning, I got them laid out in on the kitchen table and was going to start reading this upcoming Sunday School lesson (cause I'll be missing class that day) and I don't think I even got enough read to remember.  I stopped to take Kylie down to the school for soccer tryouts.  Then a walk with my mom and so on.....Sometime later that afternoon, I noticed my scriptures closed and on my bed and realized I had left them on the table and someone must have moved them into my room. And, I didn't read anymore.

So, it might be an E for effort, but not a A for "accomplished."  And, it's probably an E minus, since there wasn't too much effort made to return to them.

Jesus Wept.

O.K., so last night I read John, chapter  11, Verse 35:    Jesus Wept.
But I read it 5 times, so I'm good.

HaHa,  I thought that was pretty funny.

Actually I went in and decided I was just going to read 5 verses, like I said, and I was going to do them from the Book of Mormon, because I needed something simple and easy to understand cause I was tired.  So, I grab the book and open it.  Well, it opened to Doctrine and Covenants, section 82. So, I'm like, "That's cool.  D&C is usually easy to understand also."

So, I started reading and read the WHOLE STINKIN' SECTION!!!  I know---I AM amazing!  And it wasn't even hard.    Of course, I know part of it was because I had gotten on the blog to whine about not wanting to read and I saw I had a comment.  Two, in fact.  My first customer!

The fact that it was my friend who knows about blogs and has one and I had sworn her to secrecy before I even told her I had started a blog and then asked her to read the blog and see what she thought did not damper my enthusiasm and excited even a little bit.  Her comments jazzed me up!  Who would have known I was so starved for attention?!  : )

Bad, Bad, Bad!

So, I get on just to say I didn't read today and it is technically Saturday anyways, so I'm just going to bed cause I'm tired and don't feel like doing any studying.  In the course of getting on to this blog, however, I read my emails, then commented on a Facebook link, and now I'm finally here just to say I am a sinner and I'm going to bed without reading.

Of course, I'm thinking in the 8 minutes I've sat here reading FB comments and commenting myself, I could have had a nice little decent scripture study session.   Grrr.  

I still don't want to.  I've been doing so good though.  If I skip the "study" and just read 5 verses or something, can that count?  Maybe I'll do that cause that won't make me too tired so I can't read the newspaper.  (I know, I know, I'm SO BAD.)  I'll tell you tomorrow if I make it 5 verses.  You'll have to decide yourself if that counts for my record or not.

Working out swimmingly

I have to say this blog idea is working out great for me, even though I haven't actually told anyone about it yet.
: )  (chick- chick-chick-chicken!)  I still feel a certain accountability to say what I've done, even though one is reading it.

So, it's not even 9 a.m. and I've already had scripture study.  I wasn't sure where I was going today, but the Bible opened to Isaiah. Generally, I avoid Isaiah because I usually have no idea what he is talking about.  I glanced at the chapter heading for 55 and thought it seemed easy enough to understand so I'll give it a shot and see how it goes.  It was a short chapter--how lost can I get?

I have to say, it went fine.  Great even, considering how much I avoid Isaiah and now I've read and studied a whole chapter (cross references, too!   I know, I know, Amazing!)

I couple things I was pricked by:

verse 2
I spend too much time "laboring for that which does not satisfy".  I've become increasingly irritated (and concerned) with my own ability to concentrate and stay focused on one subject.  I just go from one thing to the next and never really finish things.  It is like I have developed ADHD as an adult!  I was thinking the other day that I really need to start praying daily asking the Lord for help and if I still can't get a handle on it, I need to go to the doctor and talk to him about it.  This little problem is always in the back of my mind, swimming around, but I was thinking I need to pull it to the front and really focus on it and try to eradicate it.

verse 7
was just lovely.  "Let him return to the Lord.....for he will abundantly pardon"  
I love the word abundant---just overflowing with mercy, kindness and forgiveness.  What a great mental image!  See?  There is hope for everyone.  That's awesome.

Question:
What do you think the "sure mercies of David" (verse 3) mean?   I looked up the cross reference in Acts and it just used the same phrase without giving any more explanation.  So, I got out a New Testament commentary I have (by David Ridges) and he didn't say squat either.  I was disappointed.  Any insight anyone?  

Day 2 of success

You think you are going to read first thing in the morning and Poof!  that theory goes out the window.  It is 12:18 and I've just done a short scripture study.   Yae for me!

I know 2 days is nothing to brag about and I've certainly done "this well" before.  None the less, it is a start and before this blog I was having a hard time even getting the "start" started. So I'm good with the progress.  I am going to try to do it at a more peaceful time of the day though, so I don't have so many phone and kid interruptions.

I did it!

Just letting you know that I actually read scriptures yesterday.  It was about 3 p.m. before I did it, but I got it done.  AND I found my little notebook before hand, too.  It was smaller then I remember so it was hiding in a smaller place then I had thought it could be (like right in my skinny little night stand drawer). 

I started my study looking up repentance in the topical guide and reading various verses about it.   So, I read 2 Peter 3:9 by itself.  When you read the whole chapter, you get a different context of what it is saying, but when I just went straight to that very without any other context, it said to me that the Lord is not a wuss when it comes to making hard decisions and "punishing" for sins.  He is just patient and wants to give every person every possible opportunity to repent.  Since I need to do some repenting this week, I am happy for his patience.  But it was also good for me to be reminded that things are done in the Lord's time, not mine.  I shouldn't judge if people are "getting what they deserve" because I don't know their heart, intentions, and experiences like God does.