in the multitude of Thy mercy

Psalms 5:7 "But as for me, I will come into thy house in the multitude of thy mercy"

I have to say, I was very discouraged last night.  I have had moments of "greatness" since I started this blog and scripture reading quest, but they seem so long ago now.  In the 10 days since I've been back from the Tetons,  I just haven't been able to get in the groove.  Most days, I haven't read.

When I thought of it last night (cause I had my blog open all day as a reminder to me), I just didn't care.  I just flat out didn't want to read scriptures.  It was almost 11, I was totally pooped and there were all these little things that I was suppose to do--scriptures, finish an online order, carry all the junk by the stairs down (cause no one else knows how to), etc.   I just wanted to go to bed.  I don't like reading scriptures.

So, I told myself that I will read in the morning (I think I've done that several times of late) and called it a night.  I overslept this morning (did I really hit the snooze button 5 times without remembering more then 1!??!). The kids had to come in and wake me up.  (Mike is OOT).  So we didn't get a good family scripture study, but I did read 3 verses to them (well--they were long verses!) before we walked out the door.  Hardly stellar.

As I'm driving down Canyon Road for my carpool kids, I think I pass a friend of mine jogging along Canyon Road.  I'm not even sure if it was her, but it reminded me of her, which reminded me of the time when I asked her about seeing her running while she looked in pain.  Mrs. Will of Steel (not her real name) didn't know which instance I was talking about, but shrugged it off with a matter of fact statement "You have good days and bad days..."

Somehow, that was a revelation to me.  I would think running fools like her would run because they love it.   I figured it was easy for them.  They've been doing it for years!  I'm sure if they usually run 10 miles and one day they decide to do the full marathon route 26+ miles, then the last little bit would be hard for them.  But, as long as they keep doing their usual 10 miles every day, then the 10 miles is easy.  Because they've paid the price, done the training, etc. to be able to check it off their To do list easy.  Why keep doing it if have to force yourself to take another step?

I equated that to my scripture study and how I've come to believe that those who read and study daily, do so because they love it and it is easy for them.  I've done the daily scripture study thing for blocks of time in the past, but I never got to the part where it was easy for me.  That has left me to think that I'm not good at it.  Now I'm thinking even Peter Priesthood and Molly Mormons have to "make" themselves read the scriptures on some days.  It is because they do that they keep their habit and become Molly Mormon.

So, I remembered all this today and that strengthened my resolve to come home from carpool and read scriptures first thing.  I had already planned on doing so, but I plan that lots of days and then allow myself to become distracted.  After seeing Mrs. Will of Steel this morning, I was resolved to make sure I did what I needed to.  Home--scriptures.  First thing.

And I did!