I bet you think I haven't read scriptures since my last post, but that is not true. I actually read multiple times in February, but I didn't have time to post. The thought of taking the time to write up what I was thinking and feeling was overwhelming! February was a crazy busy month! I forget to grab the travel size BoM out of the van in California, so I didn't read any on the cruise.
I was really irritated at how I was going on a cruise---something I have been dreaming of doing for 30+ years and I was too stinking busy to get ready for it. Crazy! It's not like I thought the whole world would stop for me to prepare for my cruise, but I guess it would a little. Naturally, since I control my world, it didn't stop cause I had scheduled way too much stuff for myself! It took about 3 or 4 days of being gone before my body really slowed down and relaxed, I think! Starting about Wednesday, I started sleeping really sound and heavy. I was more content to sit and feel the sun on my face instead of feeling like I had to be something a little "productive"--even if it was reading. It was so very good for my body to have this big SLOW DOWN time. It's kind of unsettling and even a little scary to realize how hard it is to really relax when you live a lifestyle like mine.
So, I have returned a kinder, gentler woman. (Good thing Mike doesn't read my blog---He'd roll his eyes and be like, "Oh boy! Here we go again.) But I mean it!
So far this week---starting on Monday---I've done pretty good. I'm actually struggling today a bit---hopping around with posting here, cleaning the kitchen, ripping stuff out of newspapers, making notes on my RS agenda notes and stuff. See, that is BAD, BAD, BAD!
The reason I've done good on Monday and Tuesday is because I didn't try to do anything extra. I worked on unpacking, doing the errands that needed to be done, unpacking some more, laundry, cooking dinner, doing car pool, scripture reading (2 days!) and stuff like that. I did not start listening to phone messages (15 of them) or check emails (156 of them) until late yesterday afternoon. That's a little where the frenzy is starting because I have responses to make and such. But, I am working hard at self talk here to keep me in line. "No. Focus on one thing at a time." "Finish the post and then go back to the kitchen." (cause I started on the kitchen when I was talking on the phone since I couldn't type then). Stuff like that.
I am really beginning to see that taking GOOD care of your family & home takes more time then I was giving it. If I am planning meals, shopping for the right stuff, cleaning the house if they kids don't, being ready for my RS meetings, having time to listen to my children, helping them get caught up with homework, etc. then I don't have a lot of extra time for all these other things that I am always trying to slide in there......PTA, city events, and all this other stuff.
So, I am working in earnest on being choosier with what I do with my time. I think if I could do that for a month or so, I would feel so much more in control with my family, home and church life and be able to add in a few things wisely. Wisely. That's the ticket.
Well, this isn't really a post about reading scriptures. I guess I could throw something in about "Be Still and Know that I am God" or "To every thing there is a Season" or something, but I won't for now. I started this blog with the hopes that ward members would see my struggle and join in with their own struggles while feeling better at the realization that "everyone else" isn't doing things perfectly. I was thinking someone else could be blogging on here about their efforts to have FHE each Monday or not yell at their kids or whatever they wanted to work on. That hasn't really happened, but the license was out there for their to be blogging about more then scripture reading. So, I am covered with that. : )
Next post, scriptures.
No comments:
Post a Comment